one hundred and one lokis!

“Remember Tokk” by Einherjer (1988, Norway)

I am the one of battle’s reason
I left this world my mother’s corpse
I am the eyes and heart of treason
My lullabye the screams of horse
I am the haunting and the hurting
I read the walls of memory
I am the fist in the face of glory
I grow and my fire with me

Chorus:
Hark! Is that the battle’s horn?
Has Ragnarok been born?
Fire runs my passion burns
Love cries as death comes
Is that the frost and fire?
Giants of south and those up higher
Fire runs my passion burns
Fear breaks and chaos rules

I am the incarnation of all ages
I’ve seen it all and of reason
Some of you may trust in me
And some of you may know that;
Stones and earth swore an oath
As did iron and all kinds of ore
Some cried tears but Tokk did not
She did what she could why ask for more

[Chorus]

My children might be known to you
Some might even met them too
Guilt is mine in words not felt
Wisdom’s sons presence lack
Mother father which am I?
Ask my sons wolf or death
I will guarantee
This is not the last you’ve heard from me

I’ve felt the taste of poison
Water wet I breathe like air
I caused the earth to rumble
And soon the end of all you know
Some of you may recognize
My skills in lies and betrayal acts
The very same might find it strange
My brother is the wisdom’s face

[Chorus]

The Einherjer are those who died in battle and were brought to Valhalla by the Valkyries to prepare for battle at Ragnarok. Tokk was a giant woman who refused to weep for Baldur, ensuring he remained in Hel; it’s heavily implied in myth that Tokk was Loki shapeshifted (yeah, nice one Loki).

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"Norse by Norsevest" & "Somewhere Over the Rainbow Bridge" from Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Season 5 (1998)

Hercules has a bad dream and goes north to save Balder from the scheming Loki. I have a high tolerance for cheese, but this exceeded my wildest expectations. To be fair, the show doesn't take itself too seriously and operates on a seriously tight budget, but there's a reason I always preferred its sister show Xena. The acting was especially terrible in these episodes, and everyone except possibly Hercules seemed to have been hit by the idiot ball. Let's go to town.

Loki is unusually blond in this version, but then, this is the north, where everyone is kinda blond, right?? He gets the bleach blond though, falling soundly into the Blond Guys Are Evil And Kinda Effeminate Too trope. He does some nice eye-rolling at Thor (who's perpetually angry at everything), but he's not a very convincing liar, so, fail. Like with Marvel, he's the jealous brother of Thor (and Balder), scheming to get them out of the way, with the help of frost giants (the budget doesn't stretch to seeing more than some spidery claws onscreen).

Balder is nice to the mortals, but Thor learns a Very Valuable Lesson by the end that he has to as well. The Vikings and Norse Gods are both fond of the practice of hitting one another for fun and Hercules lectures them on how it's terribly uncivilised of them. It's the cold that makes them like that apparently. Oh, and there's the most anti-climactic Ragnarok ever, but don't worry, there's a reset button, because the Norns can't really see into the future. Or something. It's all pretty entertaining anyway.

I think the best line (and the best acted) of the story was Loki's: "I haaaate it when a plan falls apart!" *runs away*

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